@vitrianna do u really have noone to turn to? Someone to rely on? If your mother thinks shes great for birthing you and that you “wouldnt have existed otherwise” then she should know that her God overwhelms that superior thought. Having a person to rely on is nice, but why want a human when u have God? He’s always with you, watching and present. Forgiving, yet never forgetful. I’ve always been told that if u want ur society to change, then u must begin with urself first. Humans are cruel, and sometimes family isnt an exception, and that is the reason we need God to stay sane. I hope this will help u in someway, be forgiving and optimistic(although its everything but easy) and that will change many thing 🙂
@Spacetrebushet sounds like my mom… she didn’t tell me i’m ugly, she’s just telling me i have a flat nose, not unlike my younger brothers who have the same pointed nose as hers. she even called me useless and stupid. she also always told our relatives that she doesn’t receive help from us, especially me as an elder child of hers, she painted me like a villain… she always told me that we have a faul attitudes that we are bad. she is expecting financial help (which i could not do), i offer some help for her like transactions from banks, filling forms cuz she’s having a hard time because of her far sighted eyes, suggesting what she should do and not to avoid her getting embarassed in public… she just doesn’t see that as help… my brother told me that he and my mother talked about that and said, that kind of help is not enough… honestly i’m tired of helping her. all my efforts are nothing to her. i tried applying for a job but i really can’t land a job because i am socailly awkward. i want to become independent…. i tried business and my mom kept on hindering it, she always get things and put it in credit… because of that i could not circulate the money and end up bankrupt. if i told her everything i said here, she will become hysterical and see me as her enemy… she’s good at gaslighting (her common script is: if i’m not here, then you don’t exist in the world! [as if i wish i was born]). i really do wish i never been born… i’m afraid of death and also the process of death. i don’t like pain, i don’t like hardships (like torture). i really wish to turn back time and hope my mother to miscarried me… that’s what i’m actually thinking rn… Tia is still lucky, she’s smart, she’s resourceful and the most important is, someone she rellies on. i don’t have all what she have.
sometimes my mom always told us how good she was, God is blessing her because she is good which made me cringe. and because of that i knew she was a narcissist. i just ignore her whenever she is like that… i also ignore here if she is asking for help ( cuz i’m tired of her antics). She always compare me to her cousin’s children, saying that “my cousin is so lucky her/his child is helping them, blah, blah, blah blah.” i just ignore her, because if i said something to defend myself, she will told me i’m bad, i’m rude,
Belittling someone is an abusive control tactic, making someone feel like they’re ugly, stupid and useless makes them think they don’t deserve/couldn’t get better then the treatment they are receiving from the abuser
PsychoPrincess
Ooookay….so is she killing ppl off now?
BreatheKid
@vitrianna do u really have noone to turn to? Someone to rely on? If your mother thinks shes great for birthing you and that you “wouldnt have existed otherwise” then she should know that her God overwhelms that superior thought. Having a person to rely on is nice, but why want a human when u have God? He’s always with you, watching and present. Forgiving, yet never forgetful. I’ve always been told that if u want ur society to change, then u must begin with urself first. Humans are cruel, and sometimes family isnt an exception, and that is the reason we need God to stay sane. I hope this will help u in someway, be forgiving and optimistic(although its everything but easy) and that will change many thing 🙂
vitrianna
sorry, my comment is quite long. i just need to release some steam. i don’t have anyone to tell these. i don’t want to bottle these negativity in me.
vitrianna
@Spacetrebushet sounds like my mom… she didn’t tell me i’m ugly, she’s just telling me i have a flat nose, not unlike my younger brothers who have the same pointed nose as hers. she even called me useless and stupid. she also always told our relatives that she doesn’t receive help from us, especially me as an elder child of hers, she painted me like a villain… she always told me that we have a faul attitudes that we are bad. she is expecting financial help (which i could not do), i offer some help for her like transactions from banks, filling forms cuz she’s having a hard time because of her far sighted eyes, suggesting what she should do and not to avoid her getting embarassed in public… she just doesn’t see that as help… my brother told me that he and my mother talked about that and said, that kind of help is not enough… honestly i’m tired of helping her. all my efforts are nothing to her. i tried applying for a job but i really can’t land a job because i am socailly awkward. i want to become independent…. i tried business and my mom kept on hindering it, she always get things and put it in credit… because of that i could not circulate the money and end up bankrupt. if i told her everything i said here, she will become hysterical and see me as her enemy… she’s good at gaslighting (her common script is: if i’m not here, then you don’t exist in the world! [as if i wish i was born]). i really do wish i never been born… i’m afraid of death and also the process of death. i don’t like pain, i don’t like hardships (like torture). i really wish to turn back time and hope my mother to miscarried me… that’s what i’m actually thinking rn… Tia is still lucky, she’s smart, she’s resourceful and the most important is, someone she rellies on. i don’t have all what she have.
sometimes my mom always told us how good she was, God is blessing her because she is good which made me cringe. and because of that i knew she was a narcissist. i just ignore her whenever she is like that… i also ignore here if she is asking for help ( cuz i’m tired of her antics). She always compare me to her cousin’s children, saying that “my cousin is so lucky her/his child is helping them, blah, blah, blah blah.” i just ignore her, because if i said something to defend myself, she will told me i’m bad, i’m rude,
Spacetrebushet
Belittling someone is an abusive control tactic, making someone feel like they’re ugly, stupid and useless makes them think they don’t deserve/couldn’t get better then the treatment they are receiving from the abuser
tanuki-san
How could her mother and the others say she was ugly when she’s this beautiful?
Saloa_10
She so smart